The Twilight Lie Detector
by everything.minni
Summary: Comedy about random things that the Cullens do in there spare time! Made by WhonoScribble and tatortotisme! Reviews are welcomed and so is constructive critism! Be nice though! One-shot with a lot of pairings!


The Twilight Lie Detector

EPOV

We all sat in the living room with Bella and that hideous piece of dog filth with extra bean burrito mixed in (Jacob). 'Bella....Bella...Will you marry me?' Jacob thought."No way Jacob, you hideous piece of dog filth with extra bean burrito mixed in, are NOT going to marry my sweet innocent little sister Bella!" I screamed.'Let's go Edward!' Rosalie thought. That pushed me to scream some more..."Yeah! And while I'm at it we'll disect Jacob!" I announced. A look of complete horror crossed that hideous piece of dog filth with extra bean burrito mixed in (Jacob)'s face and a million thoughts rushed into my head...'Not suprising''Little sister?''Check out Bella.....She's WAY hotter than Rose!' Emmet remind me to eat you for dinner tonight...'Edward, will you marry me?' um... Jasper thought that?'Edward, Jasper meant to think that to Alice and not you''I'll go grab the dog bowl and Carlisle''Edward...oh....Edward' eh...Esme?'Esme will you marry me?' Jacob! How could you!!!'Jacob...sorry, but Carlisle already knows that I love you, but the truth is I love Edward more...' ESME?'To bad Bella can read minds too...' Wait...Bella can read minds?! Alice how do you know this?"Bella, tell the truth....can you read minds?" I asked hesitantly. Emmets face seemed to get one shade paler when the slightest thought of Bella reading minds was suggested...while as Alice seemed to be enjoying the strain in my voice as well as my future reaction probably."Um...no?" Bella asked that as if it were a question."Wait! I'll grab our CIA/FBI quality lie detector that I stole this morning!" Alice shouted.'I knew this was gonna happen!' Alice thought as if she just wanted to get on my nerves, oooh... She's gonna get it! After we hook up Bella to the lie detector... we ask her my first question...same answer the machine buzzed as it dug deep into Bella's mind and yelled:"Lie... the true answer is that she told Alice and didn't want to tell Edward becuase when he took the time to think at school on tests she would always get the right answers!"Everyone stared in disbelief at Bella.....Emmet screamed like a little girl and fainted. Esme peed in her pants, while Alice kissed me. Jasper kidnapped Rose to an unknown location because Alice had stopped kissing me. Bella screamed as she saw Alice kiss me. Alice is a good kisser, I must admit. Wait Bella just heard that..."Edward! You're a cheater!!" She picked up Jacob and ran out of the room. Bella is stronger than she looks! I kissed Alice again...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BPOVAs

I stormed off with Jacob in my clutches he seemed to cry out Esme every step of the way to Edward's room. When we got there we got in a word fight."Jacob I know you've been dating Esme for a year." I said with a hurt look on my face."Bella, I'm sorry, but she's just so HOT!" Jacob exclaimed."Jacob, you're eye's tell me a different story....she's just a backup cover for a broken heart.....you love me more." I said."Bella, you're so right. I love you more than Esme." Jacob confessed. So since he confessed I kissed him, but he whispered in my ear..." Alice is a much better kisser than you..." and he just picked me up and threw me out the window, leaving a trail of tears all the way to my colliding face to the pool's water.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JPOVSo

I kissed her. I knew it would make me feel better. But while I was kissing her I got the sudden urge to throw her out a window......I love Alice more anyway.....I picked her up and whispered..."Alice is a better kisser than you" and I chucked her out the window. I heard a splash. I ran downstairs and grabbed Alice and kissed her in front of Edward. We heard the doorbell ring.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EPOV

Jacob burst out of nowhere and grabbed Alice from my clutches and kissed her. Oh, he's gonna die now! I hear the doorbell ring and before I answer it I go to grab Alice to kiss her and I see a flash of black, but I'm kissing Alice so I don't care....wait, did Alice suddenly get bad at kissing me?"OH MY GOSH THIS ALICE IS TAN!! I'M KISSING JACOB!" I yelled.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

APOV

I pranced off and opened the door to see Bella."Hi Bella, Jacob and Edward are kissing! Isn't it beautiful?!" I squealed only loud enogh for her to seemed horrified, but then she said:"Did you kiss Jacob?" Bella asked me. Hmm... I knew this was coming but I didn't know how to answer her yet. How to distract her? Oh, yes Emmet kissing her would. I pranced off to get Emmet.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EmPOV

So I like Bella and that's the only reason I was convinced by Alice to kiss Bella. I kissed Bella so hard that she gave up struggling I guess and went limp. No way she's gonna escape my kiss now! Wow this is passionate.... When we arrive at my room I notice she had fainted while we were kissing and my hopes of her actually loving me put down.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BPOV

When I awoke I found myself in Emmet's room...how did I get here? Well my clothes are wet so I should go swim. I stood up and walked out of the room making sure no one was there. I made my way to the bathroom where I usually keep a spare bathing suit just in case. After I changed I walked out of the room where I was ambushed by Emmet and Alice! They knocked me out and I awoke in a steel cage trapped. I saw I was being carried to Rose's room....oh no! Alice is headed for me with HOT PINK LIPSTICK! I was attacked! I can't dare say more of the torture. They took me to Jasper's room...(Who knew he was hippie?) And they put me into a bucket full of blood....and sealed the top (The cover had holes so I could breathe) I was up to my neck in blood and it was disgusting, except I tasted it and the blood tasted so salty like steak I must've drank a cup of the stuff.... It didn't lower the level of the blood but at least I was full now! A few minutes later I saw as they brought a beautiful shirtless Edward in trunks(With makeup?!) and dipped him into the blood bucket like me. He sucked all the blood out in a gulp. Then he said:"Hmmm...these are vampire-proof buckets...." his mind said this: 'Bella just drink the blood or scoot over here' so I scooted with all my might and I made it over to Edward exhausted and tired. Edward leaned in and sucked the blood away.... My white bikini had turned bloodred but he thought something that made me faint: 'Wow...Bella is just plain hot in a red bikini!' and so I fainted.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

APOV

Emmet, well he is Emmet. And Bella is Bella. And the next one that continues this is the next one that continues this.........See the newly-to-be made The Twilight Lie Detector -2-Disclaimer: I own absolutely NOTHING!!! (Too bad)-WhonoScribble + tatortotisme


End file.
